I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
