I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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