I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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