i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
