Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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