I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
