the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Randomize
