Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
