he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
