I want to walk on stilts...naked
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
