So drunk its hurt
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
