So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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