So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
