no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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