after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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