So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
