O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
