I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
