I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
