They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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