He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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