I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In America we eat man semen.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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