Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just google imaged poop.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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