Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Bring me that man meat
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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