Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
