all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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