There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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