ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
