So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
