You can't special order awesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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