so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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