The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
