I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
