Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
