walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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