In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
