let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
