you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
two words: eviction party
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
