dude i'm inner monologue high
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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