Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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