I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
