But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
