Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
