i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
