He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
