It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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