I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
