Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
