i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your cock deserves a montage
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
