he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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