do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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