My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You ruined the universe
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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