when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
