He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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