does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
