Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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